Thank you for clicking this link as you make that big decision about whether or not to join this email list.
Let me make my case. I often get people who Tweet at me, “COME TO MY CITY” and sadly, they tweet it as I’m on an airplane after having just done six shows in their city. I don’t know what the kids are doing these days but it almost seems like websites are not the first thought people have when they think, “Where can I see if Jen is performing?” But I’m busy buying fun coats and taking care of a secret family I’ve fathered, so I can’t spend all of that time answering each individual inquiry/demand.
If you know me, my name is Jen “Make it Easy” Kirkman and so I’d love to make it easy for you to know where I’m coming to perform. This email list! I personally write the email and you’ll receive no more than 4 per month, no less than 1. I’ll send you an email when tickets go on sale for new cities, or when I have special pre-sale offers or discounts, or to keep you posted where you can see me on TV or hear me on a podcast, or read me somewhere. I hate getting emails from sites that I even signed up for - so I will try not to abuse my power here.
Now, I know that you still want to Tweet at me “COME TO MY CITY” and I feel the love but I get overwhelmed with love - don’t worry I’m working on it. But I ask myself, is this really love? Or is this someone who doesn’t know that as a touring comic - I for sure will be in your city, even if you don’t see it yet on the email list yet. It has nothing to do with that I haven’t thought of it but mostly probably to do with scheduling, life and probably something hormonal. (And chances are I have been in that city in the past six years but you missed me because you too are busy taking care of a secret family that you’ve fathered.)
So here are some handy tips for not worrying about anything.
Although I don’t tour all 52 weeks of the year (that damn secret family needs sooo much of my time) I tour a lot and love to go to all kinds of places. You can bet that since I never plan to give up stand-up comedy that there is no area I won’t visit (except maybe war zones, sorry I’m not Bob Hope.) I get paid to perform and I don’t want to sound all materialistic or like Donald Trump or something but that “getting paid” thing is the second reason I perform right after “because I love it and it makes me feel sexy.” So, you don’t need to worry and send me a letter telling me the various attributes that your state has to offer despite it’s terrible anti-choice legislation and senators with less than an eighth grade understanding of most verbs. The life of a comedian consists of seeing the airport, falling asleep at the hotel, having jet-lag, doing morning radio, going back to bed, working out with the one hand-weight available in the hotel gym, getting to the show at 6 or 7pm and doing all kinds of voodoo and mantras before the show. This goes on for three days and then we leave. Most of the time we don’t know where we are. But we LOVE it because we’re only there for the show. That’s what we’ve always wanted. Do not be sad for us or want to buy us lunch. I think a lot of bands wrote songs about this kind of life and also some lyrics about how groupies shouldn’t fall in love with them. But anyway - don’t worry. I will perform anywhere as long as it has a proper comedy club with an already established roster of comedians in my current comedy generation OR a really cool rock club, theatre space, etc that I can perform in. And luckily, since I’m so busy with these fun coats, I have an agent who does all of this for me (and many other comics).
So, I hope this comes as a relief that you guys don’t have to do a damn thing! You don’t have to encourage me to come somewhere, I come if they pay me. I will continue to come BACK to cities when I feel I have enough new material to warrant you buying a ticket and not feeling like you can lip-sync along with my familiar act. All you have to do is sit back, get one more email, delete it if you want and hopefully catch a show! It’s one of the easier things in your life. I promise! Your life is hard and I agree - that’s some bullshit that your boss has put on you!
And now here are some details about privacy and all kinds of things about being part of this email list.
Peace and Love. Peace and Love.
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